A tribute!!!

Just trying to give tribute to Late Padma Bhushan Shri Jagjit Singh my way... By attempting to add some verses to his work.... Do let me know how they are...

Hoshwalon ko khabar kya bekhudi kya cheez hai,
Ishq kije, phir samajhiye, zindagi kya cheez hai...

Tum nahi ho to andhere, har taraf maujood hai,
Tum hi aakar ab bataao, roshni kya cheez hai,
Ishq kije phir samajhiye, zindagi kya cheez hai...

Apni palko me chupaakar, mausamo ke maayne,
Tumne duniya ko sikhaya, saadgi kya cheez hai,
Ishq kije, phir samajhiye, zindagi kya cheez hai...

Humne unke dar pe apni zindagi karli basar;
Hum deewane kya bataaye, bandagi kya cheez hai,
Ishq kije, phir samajhiye, zindagi kya cheez hai...



Kal chaudhvin ki raat thi, shab bhar raha charcha tera,
Kucch ne kaha woh chand hai, kucch ne kaha, chehra tera...

Kya karti hai teri nazar, hota hai yeh kaisa asar,
Main ho gaya aashiq tera, Main ho gaya qurbaan tera,
Kal Chaudhvi ki raat thi, shab bhar raha charcha tera...

Tujhse juda jaau kaha, har zarre me maujood tu,
Har jhoka hai, khushbu teri, Har Os (dew) hai, katra tera,
Kal chaudhavi ki raat thi, Shab bhar raha, charcha tera...

Aashiq ki ho mehfil agar, Kaise na ho tera zikr,
Kucch ne padha kalma tera, kucch ne kiya sadka tera,
Kal chaudhvi ki raat thi, shab bhar raha charcha tera...


Not trying to fit in the maestro's shoes, just trying to get inspired...

Just some thoughts!!!

आ भी जाओ के ज़िन्दगी कम है,

तुम नहीं हो तो हर ख़ुशी कम है,

वादा कर के भी यह कौन नहीं आया,

इस शहर में आज रोशनी कम है,

जाने क्या हो गया है मौसम को,

धुप ज्यादा है, चांदनी कम है,

आईना देखकर यह ख्याल आया,

आजकल उनकी दोस्ती कम है,

तुम्हारे दर पर हम इंतज़ार में है,

खुदा के घर में आज बंदगी कम है,

याद रखना मुझे 'बेनाम' ही सही,

पहेचान के लिए सारी ज़िन्दगी कम है...

Diet is for Losers!!!

To begin with, let me apologize for not torturing you with my smartass writeups for quite some time. I would want to blame it to lack of inspiration or to my busy schedule. However, I don't think any of you are interested to know the reason as long as you are spared from my article.

If you are thinking why the hell did I start writing again, you should blame it all on a friend whom I met today for dinner. He was discussing over the dinner that this was his last big meal. I was almost about to call up suicide helpline to assist him when he clarified that he was planning to go on an only fruit diet!!! Diet??? Isn't that the thing which brainless models and homosexual actors do? What happened to real men???

Nowadays there is a new revolution sweeping the slimmers of the world. This revolution is the No-Carbohydrates-all Protein diet which promises to take people who are fat enough to justify the premium sofa seats of movies and to turn them in to all muscle no fat no nonsense people, who would look like the Hritik Roshans and Kareena Kapoors of the world.

What has happened to all the people? Whatever happened to enjoying one’s meal, I will never know. In my hostel days, we never bothered about carbohydrates or phosphates or vertebrates. We just ate. Especially if the dinner was by my mom, who must have been convinced by some professional witchdoctors that any food that was visible on the dinner table after 9 PM must be emptied in my guts. If I had told my mom, that carbohydrates are bad for me, she would have laughed like a hysterical Lalita Pawar and would have still used a funnel against my mouth to tilt the table into. The point being meals were to be enjoyed for the taste. This diet concept would mean that you would have to have the Bun Maska without Maska, Butter chicken without butter and without chicken, Cheese Pakoda without Cheese and without the fried pakoda. Is that a life worth living?

Bollywood too has set some really unrealistic expectations of human pulchritude. I mean what's with the zero figure nonsense. Agreed the Chamakchallo song makes your mouth drool but I think the extra weighed Ohlaalaaaa by Vidya is the real thing. What happened to the old days when we had heroines like Rakhi, Asha Parekh and Mumtaz. I think Shammi Kapoors and Joy Mukherjees should have been honoured with Presidential gold medals, if not for anything than at least for cycling double seat uphill while humming songs, an activity which should be made mandatory for the Indian Cricket teams’ fitness trials. But gone are those days.

I am all for healthy eating but overdoing it is one thing. I am yet to meet a person who hates Ice cream or Rassogollas or Chocolates. The same goes for Rice or Chapatis. But since these are Carbohydrate based, our new age fitness freaks have given them the boot and survive on boiled vegetables and fruits which give them the happiness levels more than an orgasm. I strongly disagree with all this weird diet advice.

My theory is this; unlike A K Hangal (who I swear is around since 1639) and Baa from KSBKBT you have one life. Eat healthy, drink merrily and enjoy it. It is impossible to make your life perfect (though Sachin Tendulkar has come pretty close) or fool proof. So why make it worse? By all means eat healthy, vegetables etc but never forget the Beer.

Chetan Bhagat @ Symbiosis Pune

Good Morning everyone and thank you for giving me this chance to speak to you. This day is about you. You, who have come to this college, leaving the comfort of your homes (or in some cases discomfort), to become something in your life. I am sure you are excited. There are few days in human life when one is truly elated. The first day in college is one of them. When you were getting ready today, you felt a tingling in your stomach. What would the auditorium be like, what would the teachers be like, who are my new classmates - there is so much to be curious about. I call this excitement, the spark within you that makes you feel truly alive today. Today I am going to talk about keeping the spark shining. Or to put it another way, how to be happy most, if not all the time.

Where do these sparks start? I think we are born with them. My 3-year old twin boys have a million sparks. A little Spiderman toy can make them jump on the bed. They get thrills from creaky swings in the park. A story from daddy gets them excited. They do a daily countdown for birthday party â€" several months in advance â€" just for the day they will cut their own birthday cake.

I see students like you, and I still see some sparks. But when I see older people, the spark is difficult to find. That means as we age, the spark fades. People whose spark has faded too much are dull, dejected, aimless and bitter. Remember Kareena in the first half of Jab We Met vs the second half? That is what happens when the spark is lost. So how to save the spark?

Imagine the spark to be a lamp's flame. The first aspect is nurturing - to give your spark the fuel, continuously. The second is to guard against storms.

To nurture, always have goals. It is human nature to strive, improve and achieve full potential. In fact, that is success. It is what is possible for you. It isn't any external measure - a certain cost to company pay package, a particular car or house.

Most of us are from middle class families. To us, having material landmarks is success and rightly so. When you have grown up where money constraints force everyday choices, financial freedom is a big achievement. But it isn't the purpose of life. If that was the case, Mr. Ambani would not show up for work. Shah Rukh Khan would stay at home and not dance anymore. Steve Jobs won't be working hard to make a better iPhone, as he sold Pixar for billions of dollars already. Why do they do it? What makes them come to work everyday? They do it because it makes them happy. They do it because it makes them feel alive. Just getting better from current level s feels good. If you study hard, you can improve your rank. If you make an effort to interact with people, you will do better in interviews. If you practice, your cricket will get better. You may also know that you cannot become Tendulkar, yet. But you can get to the next level. Striving for that next level is important.

Nature designed with a random set of genes and circumstances in which we were born. To be happy, we have to accept it and make the most of nature's design. Are you? Goals will help you do that. I must add, don't just have career or academic goals. Set goals to give you a balanced, successful life. I use the word balanced before successful. Balanced means ensuring your health, relationships, mental peace are all in good order.

There is no point of getting a promotion on the day of your breakup. There is no fun in driving a car if your back hurts. Shopping is not enjoyable if your mind is full of tensions.

You must have read some quotes - Life is a tough race, it is a marathon or whatever. No, from what I have seen so far, life is one of those races in nursery school, where you have to run with a marble in a spoon kept in your mouth. If the marble falls, there is no point coming first. Same with life, where health and relationships are the marble. Your striving is only worth it if there is harmony in your life. Else, you may achieve the success, but this spark, this feeling of being excited and alive, will start to die.

One last thing about nurturing the spark - don't take life seriously. One of my yoga teachers used to make students laugh during classes. One student asked him if these jokes would take away something from the yoga practice. The teacher said - don't be serious, be sincere. This quote has defined my work ever since. Whether its my writing, my job, my relationships or any of my goals. I get thousands of opinions on my writing everyday. There is heaps of praise, there is intense criticism. If I take it all seriously, how will I write? Or rather, how will I live? Life is not to be taken seriously, as we are really temporary here. We are like a pre-paid card with limited validity. If we are lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50 years is just 2,500 weekends. Do we really need to get so worke d up? It's ok, bunk a few classes, goof up a few interviews, fall in love. We are people, not programmed devices.

I've told you three things - reasonable goals, balance and not taking it too seriously that will nurture the spark. However, there are four storms in life that will threaten to completely put out the flame. These must be guarded against. These are disappointment, frustration, unfairness and loneliness of purpose.

Disappointment will come when your effort does not give you the expected return. If things don't go as planned or if you face failure. Failure is extremely difficult to handle, but those that do come out stronger. What did this failure teach me? is the question you will need to ask. You will feel miserable. You will want to quit, like I wanted to when nine publishers rejected my first book. Some IITians kill themselves over low grades â€" how silly is that? But that is how much failure can hurt you. But it's life.If challenges could always be overcome, they would cease to be a challenge. And remember - if you are failing at something, that means you are at your limit or potential. And that's where you want to be.

Disappointment' s cousin is frustration, the second storm. Have you ever been frustrated? It happens when things are stuck. This is especially relevant in India. From traffic jams to getting that job you deserve, sometimes things take so long that you don't know if you chose the right goal. After books, I set the goal of writing for Bollywood, as I thought they needed writers. I am called extremely lucky, but it took me fi ve years to get close to a release. Frustration saps excitement, and turns your initial energy into something negative, making you a bitter person. How did I deal with it? A realistic assessment of the time involved â€" movies take a long time to make even though they are watched quickly, seeking a certain enjoyment in the process rather than the end result â€" at least I was learning how to write scripts, having a side plan â€" I had my third book to write and even something as simple as pleasurable distractions in your life - friends, food, travel can help you overcome it. Remember, nothing is to be taken seriously. Frustration is a sign somewhere, you took it too seriously.

Unfairness - this is hardest to deal with, but unfortunately that is how our country works. People with connections, rich dads, beautiful faces, pedigree find it easier to make it â€" not just in Bollywood, but everywhere. And sometimes it is just plain luck. There are so few opportunities in India, so many stars need to be aligned for you to make it happen. Merit and hard work is not always linked to achievement in the short term, but the long term correlation is high, and ultimately things do work out. But realize, there will be some people luckier than you. In fact, to have an opportunity to go to college and understand this speech in English means you are pretty damm lucky by Indian standards. Let's be grateful for what we have and get the strength to accept what we don't. I have so much love from my readers that other writers cannot even imagine it. However, I don't get literary praise. It's ok. I don't look like Aishwarya Rai, but I have two boys who I think are more beautiful than her. It's ok. Don't let unfairness kill your spark.

Finally, the last point that can kill your spark is isolation. As you grow older you will realize you are unique. When you are little, all kids want Ice cream and Spiderman. As you grow older to college, you still are a lot like your friends. But ten years later and you realize you are unique. What you want, what you believe in, what makes you feel, may be different from even the people closest to you. This can create conflict as your goals may not match with others. . And you may drop some of them. Basketball captains in college invariably stop playing basketball by the time they have their second child. They give up something that meant so much to them. They do it for their family. But in doing that, the spark dies. Never, ever make that compromise. Love yourself first, and then others.

There you go. I've told you the four thunderstorms - disappointment, frustration, unfairness and isolation. You cannot avoid them, as like the monsoon they will come into your life at regular intervals. You just need to keep the raincoat handy to not let the spark die.

I welcome you again to the most wonderful years of your life. If someone gave me the choice to go back in time, I will surely choose college. But I also hope that ten years later as well, your eyes will shine the same way as they do today. That you will Keep the Spark alive, not only through college, but through the next 2,500 weekends. And I hope not just you, but my whole country will keep that spark alive, as we really need it now more than any moment in history. And there is something cool about saying - I come from the land of a billion sparks.

Thank You.

Gandhi's No to Satyagrah By A. G. Noorani

(The below excerpt is just an article I came across and found it worth sharing with everyone. I have posted it verbatim without opinionating it with my thoughts)

ON November 25, 1949, as the Constituent Assembly of India completed its task, the Chairman of its Drafting Committee, Dr B.R. Ambedkar, replied to the general debate and said, “Here I could have ended. But my mind is so full of the future of our country that I feel I ought to take this occasion to give expression to some of my reflections.” What followed was a sustained, deeply felt cri de coeur:

“It is quite possible for this newborn democracy to retain its form but to give place to dictatorship in fact. If there is a landslide, the danger of the second possibility becoming actuality is much greater.
“If we wish to maintain democracy not merely in form, but also in fact, what must we do? The first thing in my judgment we must do is to hold fast to constitutional methods of achieving our social and economic objectives. It means we must abandon the bloody methods of revolution. It means that we must abandon the method of civil disobedience, noncooperation and satyagraha. When there was no way left for constitutional methods for achieving economic and social objectives, there was a great deal of justification for unconstitutional methods. But where constitutional methods are open, there can be no justification for these unconstitutional methods. These methods are nothing but the Grammar of Anarchy and the sooner they are abandoned, the better for us” ( Constituent Assembly Debates, Vol. XI, page 978).
When he made these remarks, devoted followers of Gandhi were present in the House – Jawaharlal Nehru and Vallabhbhai Patel, chiefly; but none contradicted him then or later. Gandhi's programme of civil disobedience or satyagraha was seldom free from violence. K.M. Munshi wrote of the participants in the Quit India Movement: “Truth to tell, what they did was anybody's business. It was certainly not non-violent even at the start.” There was extensive disruption of communications and destruction of public property ( Pilgrimage to Freedom, Vol. I, page 83).
The scholar Neeti Nair points out that “the line between hunger fast as penance, self-purification, and a form of political protest was blurred by Gandhi himself”. In Satyagraha in South Africa, Gandhi defined satyagraha as a “force which is born of truth and love or non-violence”. Neeti Nair establishes that “Gandhi's understanding of satyagraha developed over the years through particular struggles conducted by himself and those who claimed to perform satyagraha in his name”. Indeed “he characterised the hunger-strikes deployed by British women suffragettes in prison in 1909, which elicited forcible feeding, as resorting to physical violence. In 1920 he was alone in his criticism of the Irish leader Terrance MacSurineg's final hunger fast.” (Neeti Nair , Changing Homelands: Hindu Politics and the Partition of India, Permanent Black, 2011; pages 126-128. An extremely able work. Emphasis added, throughout.)
It is, therefore, unsafe and also unhistorical to cite the Gandhian precedent before Independence. Curiously, the debate in India more or less stops there with some fleeting references to political developments and debates in more recent years. Particularly instructive is the debate in the United
A person assumes an awesome responsibility when he makes such a claim. It must be a grave and intrinsically moral issue. Advocacy of a policy on legislation does not justify violation of the law on coercive fasts. In the final analysis: “The state must tolerate the individual's dissent, appropriately expressed. The individual must tolerate the majority's verdict when and as it is settled in accordance with the laws and the procedures that have been established. Dissent and dissenters have no monopoly on freedom. They must tolerate opposition. They must accept dissent from their dissent.”
But would Gandhi himself have approved of satyagraha in a free India? Evidence has come to light which suggests clearly that he would not have. Only last month this writer discovered in the invaluable treasure house of the great institution, the Nehru Memorial Museum & Library (NMML) in New Delhi, a document which clinches the issue. It was the transcript of an interview in the Oral History Programme of my guru at the Bar, Purshottam Trikamdas. He was secretary to Gandhi in 1919; joint secretary of the Swaraj Party and president of the Socialist Party in 1948 before he became one of the leaders of the Supreme Court Bar. This is what he told the NMML's interviewers K.P. Rangacharya and Hari Dev Sharma on October 9, 1967: “After Gandhiji was released and we had the Poona Conference over which M.S. Aney, who was then the Acting President of the Congress, presided, I tried to meet Gandhiji but his nephew prevented me from meeting him because he knew my views to which I shall refer presently. Anyway, Aney was good enough to invite me to that meeting of Congressmen….
“I went up to Gandhiji at the end of the meeting and I said, ‘I am trying to meet you and your nephew is preventing me from meeting you.' He said, ‘No, no, nobody can do that. You come and see me.' I would like to mention that in my speech I had said, ‘I do not know what card Gandhiji had up his sleeve.' I was amused to find that some people thought this to be disrespectful because Gandhiji never played cards.
“When I went to him the next day, he showed me the letter which he had prepared for being dispatched to the Viceroy. In the letter, he had mentioned that satyagraha must be recognised as a constitutional right. So, I said to Gandhiji with utmost respect, ‘Several views have been expressed for framing our Constitution. Tomorrow, when India is free, would you say that satyagraha is a constitutional right and write it into the Constitution. And, if we do, what does it mean? It means that anybody can break the law with impunity and nothing could be done. Actually, it would be contrary to your own ideas. Satyagraha, you say, means disobeying authority and facing the consequences. Now, if satyagraha is a constitutional right and it is permitted, what are the consequences to face?' It would be said to the credit of the great man that he started thinking and he said, ‘ There is something in what you say.' Next day, he sent for me and said, ‘ You are right. I have decided not to send that letter.' Such was the greatness of the man; he always kept an open mind. After he had actually drafted the letter and finalised it, he said, ‘I am not sending it.'”

If I controlled the Internet

If I controlled the Internet
You could auction your broken heart on eBay
Take the money, go to Amazon
Buy a phonebook for a country you’ve never been too
Call folks at random till you find somebody that flirts really well in a foreign language.

If I were in charge of the Internet you could mapquest your lover’s mood swings
Hang left at cranky, right at preoccupied, u-turn on silent treatment
all the way back to Tongue Kissing and Good Loving.
You could navigate and understand every emotional intersection.

Some days I’m as shallow as a baking pan
but i still stretch miles in all directions
If I Owned The Internet
Napster
Monster and
Friendster dot com
would be one big website.

That way you could listen to cool music while you pretend to look for a job and you’re really just chatting with your pals! heck,
If I ran the web — you could email dead people.

They would not email you back.

but you’d get an automated reply.
their name in your inbox, that’s all you wanted anyway
and a message saying, hey it’s me…
I MISS YOU. Listen you’ll see being dead is, dandy
now you go back to raising kids and waging peace and craving, candy.

If I designed the internet, Childhood.com would be a loop. of a boy. in an orchard.
With a ski-pole for a sword, trashcan lid for a shield shouting
I AM THE EMPEROR OF ORANGES
I AM THE EMPEROR OF ORANGES
I AM THE EMPEROR OF ORANGES
now follow me ok?
Grandma dot com would be a recipe for biscuits and spit bath instructions (1, 2, 3)
that links with…
Hot Diggity Dog dot com that is my grandfather
they take you to
Gruff ex-cop on his forth marriage dot dad
he forms an attachment to
Kinda ditzy but still sends gingersnaps for christmas dot mom
who downloads
The Boy In The Orchard
The Emperor of Oranges
who grows up to be
me
the guy who usually goes too far
so if I were Emperor of the Internet, I guess I’d still be mortal huh?

But at that point, I would probably already have the lowest possible mortgage
and the most enlarged possible penis
so, I would Outlaw spam on my first day in office,
I wouldn’t need it!
I’d be like some kind of Internet Genius.
and me? I’d like to upgrade, to deity and maybe just like that.

I’d go wireless.
ehhh? Maybe GOOGLE would hire this
i could zip through your servers and firewalls like a virus
until the world wide web is as wise as wild and as organized
as I think a modern day miracle slash oracle can get, but
ohhhew weeeeee, you wanna bet
just how wack and un-PC your Mac or PC’s gonna be when I’m rocking hot shit hot shot GOD dot net

I guess it’s just like life. It is not a question of IF you can, it’s do ya…
We can interfere with the Interface
We can make you’ve got hallelujah the national anthem of cyberspace.
Every lucky time we log on.

You don’t say a prayer,
You don’t write a psalm,
You don’t chant an ommmmmmm
You send one blessed email

to
Whoever you’re thinking of
at
daddle a da da daa daa didaddle-la-daddle-la-daddle-la-da daddle da
dot com.



Spoken word piece by LA-based poet Rives

If I should have a daughter...

" If I should have a daughter… Instead of "mom," she's going to call me "Point B." Because that way she knows that no matter what happens at least she can always find her way to me. And I'm gonna paint the solar systems on the backs of her hands, so she has to learn the entire universe before she can say 'I know that like the back of my hand.'
And She's gonna learn that this life will hit you, hard, in the face, wait for you to get back up just so it can kick you in the stomach, but getting the wind knocked out of you is the only way to remind your lungs how much they like the taste of air. There is hurt, here, that can not be fixed by bandaids or poetry, so the first time she realizes that Wonder Woman isn't coming I'll make sure she knows that she doesn't have to wear the cape all by herself. Cause no matter how wide you stretch your fingers your hands will always be too small to catch all the pain you want to heal. Believe me, I've tried.
'And baby,' I'll tell her, 'don't keep your nose up in the air like that. I know that trick. I've done it a million times. You're just smelling for smoke so you can follow the trail back to a burning house so you can find the boy who lost everything in the fire to see if you can save him. Or else find the boy who lit the fire in the first place to see if you can change him.'
But I know she will anyway. So instead I'll always keep an extra supply of chocolate and rain boots nearby. Because there's no heartbreak that chocolate can't fix. Okay… there's a few heartbreaks that chocolate can't fix, but that's what the rain boots are for! Because rain will wash away everything if you let it.
I want her to look at the world through the underside of a glass bottom boat; to look through a microscope at the galaxies that exist on the pinpoint of a human mind. Because that's the way my mom taught me: That there'll be days like this. There'll be days like this, my momma said.
when you open your hands to catch, and wind up with only blisters and bruises. When you step out of the phone booth and try to fly and the very people you want to save are the ones standing on your cape. When your boots will fill with rain and you'll be up to your knees in disappointment and those are the very days you have all the more reason to say "thank you" cause there is nothing more beautiful than the way the ocean refuses to stop kissing the shoreline no matter how many times it's sent away.
You will put the "win" in win some, lose some. You'll put the "star" in starting over and over. And no matter how many land mines erupt in a minute, be sure your mind lands on the beauty of this funny place called: life.

And yes. On a scale of 1 to… over-trusting. I am pretty darn naive. But I want her to know that this world is made out of sugar. It can crumble so easily, but don't be afraid to stick your tongue out and taste it.

'Baby!' I'll tell her, 'Remember, your mama is a worrier, but your papa is a warrior. And you are the girl with small hands and big eyes, who never stops asking for more. Remember that good things come in 3(s) and so do bad things. and always apologize when you've done something wrong but don't you ever apologize for the way your eyes refuse to stop shining. Your voice is small but don't ever stop singing.'
'And when they finally hand you heartbreak, slip hatred and war under your doorstep and hand you handouts on street corners of cynicism and defeat, you tell them that they really ought to meet your mother.' "

- By Spoken Word Poet Sarah Kay

Hazaro Khwahishe Aisi...

हजारों ख्वाहिशें ऐसी कि हर ख्वाहिश पे दम निकले
बहुत निकले मेरे अरमाँ, लेकिन फिर भी कम निकले

...thousands of desires, each worth dying for...
many of them I have realized...yet I yearn for more...

डरे क्यों मेरा कातिल क्या रहेगा उसकी गर्दन पर
वो खून जो चश्म-ऐ-तर से उम्र भर यूं दम-ब-दम निकले

Why should my killer (lover) be afraid? No one will hold her responsible
for the blood which will continuously flow through my eyes all my life

निकलना खुल्द से आदम का सुनते आये हैं लेकिन
बहुत बे-आबरू होकर तेरे कूचे से हम निकले

We have heard about the dismissal of Adam from Heaven (the biggest disgrace)
With more humiliation, I am leaving the street on which you live...

भ्रम खुल जाये जालीम तेरे कामत कि दराजी का
अगर इस तुर्रा-ए-पुरपेच-ओ-खम का पेच-ओ-खम निकले

Oh tyrant, your true (bad) personality will become known to all
if the curls of my hair slip through my turban!
(Basically Ghalib says that your secret will be known to all the way curls of hair (representing complexities) slip through the turban (representing a respected man) )

मगर लिखवाये कोई उसको खत तो हमसे लिखवाये
हुई सुबह और घर से कान पर रखकर कलम निकले

But if someone wants to write her a letter, they can ask me,
every morning I leave my house with my pen on my ear.

हुई इस दौर में मनसूब मुझसे बादा-आशामी
फिर आया वो जमाना जो जहाँ से जाम-ए-जम निकले

In that age, I turned to drinking (alcohol)
and then the time came when my entire world was occupied by alcohol

हुई जिनसे तव्वको खस्तगी की दाद पाने की
वो हमसे भी ज्यादा खस्ता-ए-तेग-ए-सितम निकले

from whom I expected justice/praise for my weakness
turned out to be more injured with the same cruel sword

मुहब्बत में नहीं है फ़र्क जीने और मरने का
उसी को देख कर जीते हैं जिस काफिर पे दम निकले

When in love, there is little difference between life and death
we live by looking at the infidel for whom we are willing to die

जरा कर जोर सिने पर कि तीर-ऐ-पुरसितम निकले
जो वो निकले तो दिल निकले, जो दिल निकले तो दम निकले

Put some pressure on your heart to remove that cruel arrow
for if the arrow comes out, so will your heart...and your life

खुदा के बासते पर्दा ना काबे से उठा जालिम
कहीं ऐसा न हो याँ भी वही काफिर सनम निकले

For god's sake, don't lift the cover off any secrets you tyrant
the infidel might turn out to be my lover!

कहाँ मयखाने का दरवाजा 'गालिब' और कहाँ वाइज़
पर इतना जानते हैं, कल वो जाता था के हम निकले

The preacher and the bar's entrance are way apart
yet I saw him entering the bar as I was leaving!

10 ways to look busy

Nowadays, I don't have anything to do at work. However, if I am at office, I might as well look busy. So, I found out top 10 ways to look busy. You are welcome to add more. Here they are:

1. Never walk without a document in your hands
People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they're heading for the canteen. People with a newspaper in their hand look like they're heading for the toilet. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.

2. Use computers to look busy
Any time you use a computer, it looks like "work" to the casual observer. You can send and receive personal e-mail, chat and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren't exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about but they're not bad either. When you get caught by your boss - and you *will* get caught -- your best defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training expenses.

3. Messy desk
Top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks like we're not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around your workspace. To the observer, last year's work looks the same as today's work; it's volume that counts. Pile them high and wide. If you know somebody is coming to your desk, bury the document you'll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives.

4. Voice Mail
Never answer your phone if you have voice mail. People don't call you just because they want to give you something for nothing - they call because they want YOU to do work for THEM. That's no way to live. Screen all your calls through voice mail. If somebody leaves a voice mail message for you and it sounds like impending work, respond during lunch hour when you know they're not there - it looks like you're hardworking and conscientious even though you're being a devious weasel.

5. Looking Impatient and Annoyed
Always try to look impatient and annoyed to give your bosses the impression that you are always busy.

6. Leave the office late
Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around. You could read magazines and storybooks that you always wanted to read but have no time until late before leaving. Make sure you walk past the boss' room on your way out. Send important emails at unearthly hours (e.g. 9:35pm, 7:05am, etc.) and during public holidays.

7. Creative Sighing for Effect
Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that you are under extreme pressure.

8. Stacking Strategy
It is not enough to pile lots of documents on the table. Put lots of books on the floor etc. (thick investment manuals are the best).

9. Build Vocabulary
Read up on some investment magazines and pick out all the jargon and new products. Use the phrases freely when in conversation with bosses. Remember: They don't have to understand what you say, but you will sound impressive.

10. Have 2 Jackets
If you work in a big open plan office, always leave a spare jacket draped over the back of your seat. This gives the impression that you are still on the premises. The second jacket should be worn while swanning around elsewhere

Harsha Bhogle: I would never want to be Sachin

Remember when you failed an examination. How many people recall that, your class, friends, relatives? You failed to make it to the IITs or IIMs. Who remembers. How many times have you had the feeling of being the best in your class, school , university, state….., you failed to get a visa stamped this quarter…, you missed a promotion this year…, how did it feel when you dad told you in your early twenties that you are good for nothing…..and now your boss tell you the same…

You keep introspecting and go into a shell when people most of whom don’t matter a dime in your life criticize you, back bite you, make fun of you. You are left sad and shattered and you cry when your own kin scoffs at you. You say I am feeling low today. It takes a lot from us to come out of these everyday situations and move on. A lot??? really?

Now here’s a man standing on the third man boundary in the last over of a world cup match. The bowler just has to bowl sensibly to win this game. What the man at the boundary sees is 4 rank bad bowls bowled without any sense of focus, planning or regret. India loses, yet again in those circumstances when he has done just about everything right.

He does not cry. Does not show any emotion. Just keeps his head down and leaves the field. He has seen these failures for 22 years now. And not just his class, relatives, friends but the whole world has seen these failures. We are too immature to even imagine what goes on in that mind and heart of his. That’s why I would never want to be Sachin.

True, he has single handedly lifted to moods of this entire nation umpteen number of times. He has been an inspiration to rise above our mediocrity. Nobody who has ever lifted the willow even comes close to this man’s genius. His dedication and metal strength is unparallel. This is specially for those people who would have made fun of him again last night when India lost. They are people who are mediocre in their own lives. Who just scoff at others to create cheap fun. Who have lived in a small hole throughout their lives and thought they have seen the oceans.

Think about the man himself. He is 37 years of age. He has been playing almost non stop for 22 years. The way he was running and diving around the field last night would have put 22 year olds to shame. The way he played the best opening quickies in the world was breathtaking. He just keeps getting better which is by the way humanly impossible. Its not for nothing that people call him GOD.

But still I don’t want to be in those shoes. We struggle in keeping our monotonous lives straight, lives which affect a limited number of people. Imagine what would be the magnitude of the inner struggle for him, pain both mental and physical, tears that have frozen with time, knees and ankles and every other joint in the body that is either bandaged or needs to be attended to every night, eyes that don’t sleep before a big game, bats that have scored 99 international tons and still see expectations from a billion people.

And he just converts those expectations into reality. We watch in awe, feel privileged.

Well I think its time that his team realizes that enough is enough. They have an obligation, not towards their country alone but towards sachin. They need to win this one for him. Stay assured that he himself will still deliver and leave no stone unturned to make sure India wins this cup.

This is not just a game, and he is not just a sportsman. Its much more than this. Words fail here…

- Harsha Bhogle

The 'F' people

My work place is a very wonderful place. I say so not out of sarcasm or out of awe, but out of sheer skill of observation which I have developed over a period of time. It is a place with great diversity in people’s lifestyle. If you ask me what the essence of one’s Lifestyle is, I would say that it is Fashion but I am sure of course that you won't ask me and I won't tell you, so you can keep guessing what my answer would be.
Frankly, just like my answer, the origins of fashion too are clad in mystery. However, rumour has it someone with an extremely well developed sense of finesse and polish developed the concept of fashion. By this definition, we can safely rule out the fact that any man could have started fashion. I can safely conclude this because Fashion, as man knows, is basically confined to 3 pairs of shoes, 5 shirts, 3 trousers and 5 underwear (10 if you count them inside out and 20 if you count them upside down). Fashion, as women know it is also 3 pairs of shoes, 5 shirts, 3 trousers and 5 underwear but that is only on Mondays. Hence it is safe to conclude that women have had a big hand in advancing the cause of fashion.
Historians say it is difficult to say with any certainty what event exactly started off fashion. Fortunately, since I am making up facts, I can state with certainty that Fashion started when a group of enormously snobby Indian women gathered around and fought over a random shade of red unable to decide whether it is rouge or vermillion. Historians too accept this theory of course provided to threaten them to death if they don’t accept it.
However, getting back to why my office space is unique, I find it fascinating to see how every person has an unique fashion acumen and even more flabbergasted to realize that each one of them thinks they are the Einstein of Fashion World. Not only because of their knowledge of fashion, but their experimentation too, they truly need to be humoured, err, applauded.
People challenge me to count the number of misfields that Ashish Nehra does during play. I understand the difficulty of that task, however, something which I have found more challenging than that is to count the colours on some of the dresses which the fashion icons of my work place flaunt. My school teachers would have never known that so many colours do exist in the world, or they forgot to teach me the same. There are times when I keep my Ray Bans on in the office just to avoid the brightness that I am exposed to in presence of certain tops in the office. Normally in every species, with the exception of Tamil film heros, the specie has to look attractive to attract the opposite half of the specie for mating purposes. If this holds true, I have serious doubts about these fashion stars having any future in reproduction. Frankly, I see very few uses for most of their wardrobes than as virginity charms or chastity belt.
One liberty which females in the corporate world have is they can define anything as formals. Whether it is a frill laced frock or yellow coloured bell bottom, it’s all office wear. Due to this unclear definition of female formals, we have been victims of viewing polka dots, denim patches, hanging ribbons, velvet shoes, shocking striking shining and all other varieties of pinks, greens, yellows, reds, fluorescents and a lot more. The plight of a viewer is only understood by another viewer.
From the very few people who are free enough to read my blog, if any of you have any experience in disaster management, please send in your resume to me immediately. Most of the guys in my branch face disaster day in and day out. They are all ‘Khatron ke Khiladi’. These Fashion disasters, sorry, divas can use some help from your advice, and all of their colleagues can definitely use the help too. Please contribute for this noble cause.

Tips this Valentine!!!

I am no connoisseur of this field, but from what I know, I thought it to be my moral obligation to disseminate this information to all my fellow male specie of human kind. I hope this helps you get over the over hyped day of expression of love which is about to come.That dreaded day all men fear to forget–Valentines Day–is just around the corner. It’s a day that can make you or break you, fellas, so now’s the time to give it some thought. Here are some rules to remember:

-> The most basic rule, if for no one’s sake but you own: Remember your sweetheart on Valentines Day. February 14. It doesn’t matter how old she is, or how long you’ve been married, or dating, or whatever. If you forget her on this high holy day of love, you’ll spend the next 364 days regretting it. In either subtle or unsubtle ways, she ain’t gonna forget you forgot. So next time your tea has salt instead of sugar, your clothes burn while being ironed or you get stood up on a date, you are to blame if you forget this day.

-> 00:05 is not same as 00:00. Trust me on this one, these 5 minutes will cost you more than any other 5 minutes in your life. It doesn't matter if your network's jammed, if you are being chased by a man-eating tiger or you are saving the world from intergalactic attack. If your call or you dont reach at midnight, you have dug your own grave.

-> If she tells you she doesn’t want flowers, or candy, or a greeting card to mark the day, I can guarantee you she’s lying through her teeth. Don’t be fooled for a second. She’s just testing you to see what you’ll do. You have two choices–do you want to be happy, or do you want to be miserable? It’s up to you.

-> This is the trickiest rule, because the slightest error can cause undue suffering (yours). What does she really want for Valentine’s Day? You can’t just ask her–this is strictly against the rules. This is where your mind-reading skills come in handy. If you’ve not already developed at least some rudimentary extrasensory powers (ESP) in your relationship, you’re probably already screwed anyway–and I don’t mean in a good way. P.S: Playstation is not a good valentines gift for her

-> It is a cardinal sin to mention what you did with your ex-girlfriend last Valentine's day, no matter how boring it was last year. This is the only Valentines you remember unless the last one was with her only.

I guess these should help you for good. If you have some more to share, your comments are always welcome. Girls are welcome to testify on these observations/learning...

Wish you all a Happy Valentines Day!!!

In Original handwriting of "Bismil"

Ode to the Nice Guys

[This rant was written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal]

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever
orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for
that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went
anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical,
manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most
frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going
to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.