The 'F' people

My work place is a very wonderful place. I say so not out of sarcasm or out of awe, but out of sheer skill of observation which I have developed over a period of time. It is a place with great diversity in people’s lifestyle. If you ask me what the essence of one’s Lifestyle is, I would say that it is Fashion but I am sure of course that you won't ask me and I won't tell you, so you can keep guessing what my answer would be.
Frankly, just like my answer, the origins of fashion too are clad in mystery. However, rumour has it someone with an extremely well developed sense of finesse and polish developed the concept of fashion. By this definition, we can safely rule out the fact that any man could have started fashion. I can safely conclude this because Fashion, as man knows, is basically confined to 3 pairs of shoes, 5 shirts, 3 trousers and 5 underwear (10 if you count them inside out and 20 if you count them upside down). Fashion, as women know it is also 3 pairs of shoes, 5 shirts, 3 trousers and 5 underwear but that is only on Mondays. Hence it is safe to conclude that women have had a big hand in advancing the cause of fashion.
Historians say it is difficult to say with any certainty what event exactly started off fashion. Fortunately, since I am making up facts, I can state with certainty that Fashion started when a group of enormously snobby Indian women gathered around and fought over a random shade of red unable to decide whether it is rouge or vermillion. Historians too accept this theory of course provided to threaten them to death if they don’t accept it.
However, getting back to why my office space is unique, I find it fascinating to see how every person has an unique fashion acumen and even more flabbergasted to realize that each one of them thinks they are the Einstein of Fashion World. Not only because of their knowledge of fashion, but their experimentation too, they truly need to be humoured, err, applauded.
People challenge me to count the number of misfields that Ashish Nehra does during play. I understand the difficulty of that task, however, something which I have found more challenging than that is to count the colours on some of the dresses which the fashion icons of my work place flaunt. My school teachers would have never known that so many colours do exist in the world, or they forgot to teach me the same. There are times when I keep my Ray Bans on in the office just to avoid the brightness that I am exposed to in presence of certain tops in the office. Normally in every species, with the exception of Tamil film heros, the specie has to look attractive to attract the opposite half of the specie for mating purposes. If this holds true, I have serious doubts about these fashion stars having any future in reproduction. Frankly, I see very few uses for most of their wardrobes than as virginity charms or chastity belt.
One liberty which females in the corporate world have is they can define anything as formals. Whether it is a frill laced frock or yellow coloured bell bottom, it’s all office wear. Due to this unclear definition of female formals, we have been victims of viewing polka dots, denim patches, hanging ribbons, velvet shoes, shocking striking shining and all other varieties of pinks, greens, yellows, reds, fluorescents and a lot more. The plight of a viewer is only understood by another viewer.
From the very few people who are free enough to read my blog, if any of you have any experience in disaster management, please send in your resume to me immediately. Most of the guys in my branch face disaster day in and day out. They are all ‘Khatron ke Khiladi’. These Fashion disasters, sorry, divas can use some help from your advice, and all of their colleagues can definitely use the help too. Please contribute for this noble cause.