It seems like the season of numbering and listing down various items and I wish to give my contributions to the cause.
So, here are 8 sure ways of pissing off a guy. TRY ANY OF THE BELOW AT YOUR OWN RISK.
1. Standing between a man and the sport getting telecasted on the T.V.
Ever happened to you that your favourite team is dribbling the ball towards their goal post when your mom appears between you and the T.V. discussing the evening menu while you can hear the excitement in the commentary converting to pure adrenaline when your team scores and you miss the goal? Surely angers you, doesn't it?
2. Getting fashion comment from another dude
I don't care if my shirt is too wrinkled or my tshirt doesn't match my pants. You are lucky enough that I am actually wearing pants. Do not comment on my fashion style, or hair style. Only acceptable comment is a compliment on my watch or shoes if I am wearing any. NO! COMPLIMENT ONLY UNDIES ARE NOT APPROPRIATE!
3. Check-mate at the men's room
You enter the washroom to find that there are 3 urinals. And some jerk is peeing in the middle urinal!!!
Such blasphemy! Utter social disregard!
One simply does not break the One Urinal Gap Commandment.
4. Waiting outside/inside an all women shopping store
We are not your free porters to accompany you to those random women stores where you shop till you drop and we spend our precious time trying to avoiding head on collisions, shoulder brushes, elbows cuts, knee kicks, rabbit punches and random stunts.
If you have the strength to roam around the store for 2 hours; you definitely have the strength to carry the bags home.
5. Women saying "It's just a game"
Is your favorite Steve Madden just shoes?
Is Hugh Grant's romantic scene is Nottinghill just another scene?
When we don't comment on your choices (nor do we care), we expect similar mutual understanding when our team is losing.
We don't need your consolations nor your pep talks.
Just let it be!!
6. Social events (without food)
Admit it! Men go to social events for food. And booze. And food. And hot chicks. And did I mention food?
So, when a guy is invited to an social gathering where there is no food; there is nothing to do there.
It is inhuman to plan a social gathering with no food. Have mercy.
7. The "Guys have it easy" talks
No we do not have it easy at all. We can't talk our way into getting assistance from colleagues, we can't wear pretty dress on appraisal day to get the deserved rating; And we definitely can't have deep necks working in our favour.
It's no longer a guy's world. Admit it!!
8. The drink table bargers
It is my drink. I have ordered the drink. Unless I officially invite you and give you the elite privilege of sharing seat with me, do not come near.
A guy with his drink is having a personal moment. You have no right to invade that delicate relationship. Respect the pure romance!
So, here are 8 sure ways of pissing off a guy. TRY ANY OF THE BELOW AT YOUR OWN RISK.
1. Standing between a man and the sport getting telecasted on the T.V.
Ever happened to you that your favourite team is dribbling the ball towards their goal post when your mom appears between you and the T.V. discussing the evening menu while you can hear the excitement in the commentary converting to pure adrenaline when your team scores and you miss the goal? Surely angers you, doesn't it?
2. Getting fashion comment from another dude
I don't care if my shirt is too wrinkled or my tshirt doesn't match my pants. You are lucky enough that I am actually wearing pants. Do not comment on my fashion style, or hair style. Only acceptable comment is a compliment on my watch or shoes if I am wearing any. NO! COMPLIMENT ONLY UNDIES ARE NOT APPROPRIATE!
3. Check-mate at the men's room
You enter the washroom to find that there are 3 urinals. And some jerk is peeing in the middle urinal!!!
Such blasphemy! Utter social disregard!
One simply does not break the One Urinal Gap Commandment.
4. Waiting outside/inside an all women shopping store
We are not your free porters to accompany you to those random women stores where you shop till you drop and we spend our precious time trying to avoiding head on collisions, shoulder brushes, elbows cuts, knee kicks, rabbit punches and random stunts.
If you have the strength to roam around the store for 2 hours; you definitely have the strength to carry the bags home.
5. Women saying "It's just a game"
Is your favorite Steve Madden just shoes?
Is Hugh Grant's romantic scene is Nottinghill just another scene?
When we don't comment on your choices (nor do we care), we expect similar mutual understanding when our team is losing.
We don't need your consolations nor your pep talks.
Just let it be!!
6. Social events (without food)
Admit it! Men go to social events for food. And booze. And food. And hot chicks. And did I mention food?
So, when a guy is invited to an social gathering where there is no food; there is nothing to do there.
It is inhuman to plan a social gathering with no food. Have mercy.
7. The "Guys have it easy" talks
No we do not have it easy at all. We can't talk our way into getting assistance from colleagues, we can't wear pretty dress on appraisal day to get the deserved rating; And we definitely can't have deep necks working in our favour.
It's no longer a guy's world. Admit it!!
8. The drink table bargers
It is my drink. I have ordered the drink. Unless I officially invite you and give you the elite privilege of sharing seat with me, do not come near.
A guy with his drink is having a personal moment. You have no right to invade that delicate relationship. Respect the pure romance!
a. You have heard of Steve Madden. I'm impressed :p
ReplyDeleteb. When in a female store, choose a safe corner, and check out the pretty females! Are you really cribbing about this awesome opportunity?
c. I think you can seriously offend the feminist community with point 7. No comments!!
d. I can't stop laughing at point 3!!!!
a. You commented!! Most people think that the comments section on a blog is a portal to a different dimension. Hence they will message you, put comment on facebook; but commenting in the comments section??? Who does that!
ReplyDeleteb. While you were busy looking through your Lakmes, Nina Riccis and Chanels; you did not realize one small thing. THERE ARE NO CORNERS IN THE STORE. There are shoppers and counters and displays but no corners.
c. Its high time someone from Masculist community spoke the obvious.
d. Our ordeal is your humour
2. Only gadget comments allowed..
ReplyDeleteOMG such hypocrisy and stereotyping!!! Despite being surrounded by such non-typical women! Tch tch....
ReplyDeleteNon-typical women, is it?
ReplyDeleteThe whole idea behind this write up conspired when I was standing protecting my 'abala' self in that beauty shop mall when I had to accomoany you.
Any comments???