10 commandments between men

My train trips to office are leaving me with some spare time and that results in you suffering with my frequent blogs.

Having said that, I received a lot of queries on the commandment I mentioned in the previous write up; ok not a lot; a few; ok just 3. However, I have listed down below the top 10 unmentioned commandments or rules followed between guys.

10. The Blush Crush Commandment

You do not demean or insult a guy in front of his crush or the lady who makes him blush. You rather praise him, improve his chances even though you know he doesn't stand a chance.
You are not ruled by this commandment if you yourself like the chick and are in the game!!!

9. The Sport Talk Continuum Commandment

A dude will never walk away from a sport talk. If its sport, you have to be there. If you have the knowledge, contribute, else learn. The only exception to this is when a bro has a date and needs to rush. After all, sports does have repeat telecast.
Bylaw to this is; a guy will always confirm with all others included in the discussion before revealing the final score of previous night's match. 24 hours time is universally given to coverup for missed matches.

8. Traffic signal commandment

While waiting at the signal, a guy will get his car hood as close to the front car's bumper as possible. He will also start honking instanteneously the moment signal turns green.
You think this is nuisance?? Random?? Ignorant??
It is not. It is for the greater good. It is for that person sitting 10 cars behind who will not make it past the signal otherwise. We believe in helping all men all the time.

7. The Car Etiquette Commandment

If three guys are sharing the backseat of a car, none of the guys are allowed to spread their arms behind the other guys to increase space. If you are driving some other guy's car, do not change the preset rear view mirrors, seat, radio stations. This rule can be relaxed if the difference of weight between two drivers is 43 kgs or more.

6. The Pinky Promise Commandment

Remember those childhood pinky promises? You did not break it under any circumstances. The exact same strong bond applies here.
A guy does not screw up other guy by telling his secrets to parents, siblings or wife.
No smoking habits, drinking habits, extra marital affairs can be reveals to blood or marriage relations.
If you have a conflict to settle with the guy; do it like a man; by sticking weird notes on his office desk. But no involving family.

5. Bros before... err... ahem... women

Founded by Michael Scott and made famous by the legen...wait for it... dary Barney Stinson; this rule does not need any explanation.
You will choose a bro over the lady, no matter how hot, when a bro is in need.
For dogs it is Owner before Boner; For men it is Bros before Hoes.

4. One Urinal Gap Commandment

If you subscribe to my blog (which I doubt), you would have come across this commandment earlier.
One does not simply checkmate another guy in the urinal. You leave a gap of one between two occupied comfort stations; always!
Corollary to that is No eye contact. To make it easier to remember, the golden rule is; Zipper down, eyes down.

3. Die before you cry

Tears?? Who me??? You must be joking. Men do not cry; they may precipitate from eyes or sweat from retina. But they simply do not cry.
The exceptions are when your club loses the cup or when your team wins a cup after almost a decade (relevant only for Arsenal fans!!) or when a sports legend retires or when Goku dies! You gotta cry when Goku dies.

2. The Birthday Wish Commandment

A guy is not required to remember other guy's birthday (or anybody's birthday for that matter). A guy may however wish the other friend on facebook or any other social media if he comes to get knowledge of the birthday. A phonecall may be made to wish birthday; but discussion on or surrounding birthday should not last for more than 30 seconds.
Sample Conversation:
"Dude, Happy bday"
"Thanks mate"
"What plans?"
"Nothing major"
"Cool. Did you see the 'Loser-pool messing up again match' yesterday?"

1. Do not show! Do not tell!

Under no circumstances, including but not limited to apocalypse, is it appropriate for a guy to talk about his or any other guy's; well; undercarriage. You do not describe, do not compare,  do not talk, do not peep, do not mention. This includes discussing the innerwear brands you use. If you accidentally brush past another guy's 'joystick' while walking; you continue walking without turning back or apologizing.
You can, however, use the reference to drive home point which is in terms of metaphor like "balls to you", "have some balls", "don't think from your little brain".