Tuesday, May 20, 2014

What angers the guys!!

It seems like the season of numbering and listing down various items and I wish to give my contributions to the cause.

So, here are 8 sure ways of pissing off a guy. TRY ANY OF THE BELOW AT YOUR OWN RISK.

1. Standing between a man and the sport getting telecasted on the T.V.

Ever happened to you that your favourite team is dribbling the ball towards their goal post when your mom appears between you and the T.V. discussing the evening menu while you can hear the excitement in the commentary converting to pure adrenaline when your team scores and you miss the goal? Surely angers you, doesn't it?

2. Getting fashion comment from another dude

I don't care if my shirt is too wrinkled or my tshirt doesn't match my pants. You are lucky enough that I am actually wearing pants. Do not comment on my fashion style, or hair style. Only acceptable comment is a compliment on my watch or shoes if I am wearing any. NO! COMPLIMENT ONLY UNDIES ARE NOT APPROPRIATE!

3. Check-mate at the men's room

You enter the washroom to find that there are 3 urinals. And some jerk is peeing in the middle urinal!!!

Such blasphemy! Utter social disregard!
One simply does not break the One Urinal Gap Commandment.

4. Waiting outside/inside an all women shopping store

We are not your free porters to accompany you to those random women stores where you shop till you drop and we spend our precious time trying to avoiding head on collisions,  shoulder brushes, elbows cuts, knee kicks, rabbit punches and random stunts.

If you have the strength to roam around the store for 2 hours; you definitely have the strength to carry the bags home.

5. Women saying "It's just a game"

Is your favorite Steve Madden just shoes?
Is Hugh Grant's romantic scene is Nottinghill just another scene?

When we don't comment on your choices (nor do we care), we expect similar mutual understanding when our team is losing.
We don't need your consolations nor your pep talks.

Just let it be!!

6. Social events (without food)

Admit it! Men go to social events for food.  And booze. And food. And hot chicks. And did I mention food?

So, when a guy is invited to an social gathering where there is no food; there is nothing to do there.

It is inhuman to plan a social gathering with no food. Have mercy.

7. The "Guys have it easy" talks

No we do not have it easy at all. We can't talk our way into getting assistance from colleagues, we can't wear pretty dress on appraisal day to get the deserved rating; And we definitely can't have deep necks working in our favour.

It's no longer a guy's world. Admit it!!

8. The drink table bargers

It is my drink. I have ordered the drink. Unless I officially invite you and give you the elite privilege of sharing seat with me, do not come near.

A guy with his drink is having a personal moment. You have no right to invade that delicate relationship. Respect the pure romance!

Sunday, April 27, 2014

Ru Ba Ru

Yun samundar kinare tehelte hue,
Ek din zindagi rubaru ho gayi mujhse,
Kucch shuruaati taoruf ke baad maine kaha,
Tum kucch jaani pehchaani si lagti ho,
Kisi gali nukkad pe, chai ki dukaan par,
Kisi rail ke saamne wale platform par,
Kahi raashan ki bheed me, koi bus ki qataar me,
Kisi mandir me maatha teke, kisi maikhane ke bahaar girte padte,
Kahi to tumse mulaqat hui hai,
Dhundhli hi sahi, par woh yaad ab bhi zehen me hai,
Thik se yaad nahi ke tab tum kaisi thi,
Shayad musqurat se khilkhilaati, shayad nazaqat se balkhaati,
Thodi naazuk kucch sharmaati, kucch adaon me ithlaati,
Ya phir thodi si udaas thi tum,
Ek adhuri si kahani ki tarah, jo khatm hone se pehle hi khatm ho gayi,
Kya woh maayusi thi tumhare chehre par, Ya bas ladne ki thakaan,
Shayad hausla hi hoga, phir se jeet ke dikhane ka,
Jaane kyun yaad nahi aa raha, tumhe yaad ho to batao,
Aur zindagi ne muskuraake kaha, main to har woh jagah hu jaha tum ho,
Par tumhe zindagi jeene ki fursat hi kaha!

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Foolish Choice

They all tell me, rather convince me, that my princess will come and kiss me; that everything will be wonderful; that I will turn into prince charming; that I will no longer be the frog that I am.

They see the pain on my face, the confusion, the disbelief; and they try to reiterate, make me believe.
And I transfer the same confusion, the same disbelief on their face, when I ask
Why can't I just be the frog that I am?

They pity me, argue, even mock at my foolish choice. A very few are curious enough to question me, ponder, ask for the reason.

It is just my choice, I say. Why does one have to be prince charming to live happily ever after? Why should one wait for the princess to come and redeem your life? Are you saying that frogs don't live happily ever after? Then what is that sound we here during monsoons?

I don't allow them time to answer; because I know they don't have any.

Are you truly meant to be happy with the princess whose condition to love you is for you to change into something else? And if you don't transform to the prince of her dream, she will leave you like the previous dozens and move to the next frog. Is that your definition of true love?

I thought true love was meant to be besides you, within you, when you are at the worst of your life. So how is it true love if it can be with you only after you have turned to prince charming?

I would rather be a frog and find true love than join the pretentious world where one has to be prince charming to get love.

They are still silent, listening to me; the jaws are still a bit dropped. I am still waiting for my answers. Do you have the answers??

Thursday, October 17, 2013

No more Rahul Dravids, Please

Most of my generation people are looking for reasons to rejuvenate their interest in the religion called Cricket. I am calling it my generation of people because we are the Sachin Tendulkar generation, the Dada generation, the Rahul Dravid generation. Those name were put in that order for a reason, cuz that's how the order has always been.

I want to urge all the cricket fans one thing, let's not have any more Rahul Dravids. You would think I am not a big Dravid fan, but trust me; I am.

So why such a weird request, you ask? Here's why.

It was 1996, at Lord's; match best remembered for Sourav Ganguly’s century on debut and Dravid’s decision to ‘walk’ after he got the faintest of touches to a Chris Lewis delivery at a score of 95. Batting at number seven, just ahead of Anil Kumble, Dravid thus exhibited in his first match the qualities that would be reinforced through a 16-year career. Grace under pressure, moral certainty and the ability to raise his game when the going got tough. But, it was still the match in which Sourav Ganguly made his debut.

When Rahul Dravid made 180 in a Test match, he was upstaged by a man who made 281 (VVS Laxman). It was remembered as the match which established Laxman as the backbone of Indian middle order. Rahul Dravid, he just supported the maestro.

When he made his then highest score of 145 in a one-day international, Sourav Ganguly made 183 in the same innings. It was but obvious that the highest score ever made by any Indian player would overshadow the supporting character's century.

When Dravid gave it one more go and topped that by making 153 against New Zealand, Tendulkar scored 186. And when the God scores the highest in Indian history, the tributes would naturally go to him.

So, Dravid tried again. While he was going through an England tour as the only Indian batsman who mattered, the focus was not so much on Dravid’s three centuries as on the non-century from Tendulkar.

He has been one of the most successful captains in test for India, but is remembered for that one decision of calling back Sachin in before his double ton.

He kept wickets for India in the dry period between Mongia and Dhoni, but he is remembered as stop gap arrangement to squeeze a 7th batsman.

He has had maximum catches in slip but will never be compared to the likes of Raina, Yuvraj or even Mohammad Kaif for that matter on the field.

And now when I witnessed yesterday's match; where the world appreciated Virat Kohli; I just thought, not again.

Virat was magical, awesome, brilliant, stunning. But there was a Shikhar Dhawan and Rohit Sharma who were marvellous too. Let's not forget them. Let's not leave them behind.

Let's not treat them like Dravid.

No more Dravids, please.

Monday, April 1, 2013

Waseem Barelvi - mitti ke gharonde...


ज़हन में पानी के बादल अगर आये होते 
मैंने मिटटी के घरोंदे ना बनाये होते 

धूप के एक ही मौसम ने जिन्हें तोड़ दिया 
इतने नाज़ुक भी ये रिश्ते न बनाये होते 

डूबते शहर मैं मिटटी का मकान गिरता ही 
तुम ये सब सोच के मेरी तरफ आये होते 

धूप के शहर में इक उम्र ना जलना पड़ता 
हम भी ए काश किसी पेड के साये होते 

फल पडोसी के दरख्तों पे ना पकते तो वसीम 
मेरे आँगन में ये पत्थर भी ना आये होते 

Raahat Indori: Meaningful composition

हर एक चेहरे को ज़ख़्मों का आईना न कहो|
ये ज़िन्दगी तो है रहमत इसे सज़ा न कहो|

न जाने कौन सी मज़बूरीओं का क़ैदी हो,
वो साथ छोड़ गया है तो बेवफ़ा न कहो|

तमाम शहर ने नेज़ों पे क्यूँ उछाला मुझे,
ये इत्तेफ़ाक़ था तुम इस को हादसा न कहो|

ये और बात कि दुश्मन हुआ है आज मगर,
वो मेरा दोस्त था कल तक उसे बुरा न कहो|

हमारे ऐब हमें उँगलियों पे गिनवाओ,
हमारी पीठ के पीछे हमें बुरा न कहो|

मैं वक़ियात की ज़न्जीर का नहीं क़ायल,
मुझे भी अपने गुनाहों का सिलसिला न कहो|

ये शहर वो है जहाँ राक्षस भी है "राहत",
हर एक तराशे हुये बुत को देवता न कहो|

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

I'm in love with your smile

I was just sitting when she passed by me. She turned her head and smiled; a smile that makes violins play around; a smile that makes the birds sing; a smile that makes the stars shine brighter; a smile that makes the world a bit better place to live in...

I suppose I was addicted; addicted to that smile. Addicted to the shining of those eyes when she smiled; addicted to the falling of those hair on her face and to her fingers pushing her hair to the back.

I often heard that smile, saw her smiling face in my dreams. I needed to make that smile my reality. Thats how we met.

And then, that smile stayed besides me. That smile was my happiness when I was low. It was my strength when I was struggling, a push when I felt demotivated. Her smile was my guide when I was looking for answers, my friend when I needed a shoulder. It was her smile I turned to when I needed reassurance, comfort or support. Her smile was my magic potion.

I believe her smile is her super power. Inside that sweet self of hers lies a power to make everything right, to heal all the pain. She has a smile to die for and even more, a smile to live for. There are times when she misuses her super power, convinces me to do things I have never done, I would never do, just by using her smile right. 

And now, I want to make sure that the world is never deprived of this asset. I have decided I want to take care of that smile, make sure that smile remains where it belongs... on her face; always. 

So, while we will vow to live together all our lives, I shall also vow to ensure you always smile; you are always happy...

Keep Smiling!!!