I know that I haven't been a very regular blogger. Can't help it!!! Most of my time and energy is being devoured by the menace called work and the remaining time is being spent currently in one of the most important task at hand; ATTENDING WEDDINGS.
I am sure every person goes through this phase and age in life when everyone around you seems to get married. Remember that geeky guy or smelly girl in your college who you thought cannot hook up even if Bill Gates adopted them? Even they will have their typical 'posed for album' pics uploaded on Facebook. I understand that even the generation prior to us would have gone through this phase, but they would not be looking at the pics of the class mate in pre-school getting married. That privilege is confined for our generation alone.
Recently, I attended two of my closest friend's wedding; Mr. K Jo and Mr. Bubai. Not that this was my first attended wedding, but the sheer fact that I was there present for all the ceremonies under the 'coming soon' window gives a different perspective to the entire experience. Wondering what coming soon window is?
During my cultural expeditions in these wonderful Indian traditional arrangement, I have observed the various clan of people attending these events. I have classified them for my reader's convenience under various categories as below:
1. Coming Soon Window: This window is the precise reason most of us attend these weddings. This clan comprises of all those younger cousin and close friends that the bride or the groom have. These species are usually found in herd in the wedding jungle and they hang around in gender specific troops. Each member of this herd tries to over power the other member by dressing up. The female herd has an advanced ability of tracking the male herd through corners of eyes and they make weird giggly sounds cracking naughty jokes. The male herd, being the bolder one, directly stares at the female herd and usually is found around the female herd. These people get the closest place to all the wedding action as they roam around the bride or the groom.
2. Cupid's Assistants: Also known as Panditjis or Match makers,these people are visionaries. They not only enjoy the current wedding but are also planning for future free lunches and dinners by match making. These are the uncles and aunties who don't even know you but who have already decided the best possible match for you. They will inquire about your parents and their parents and your ancestral heir-line and would have decided the names of your 2nd daughter and 3rd son too. Statutory Warning: BEWARE OF SUCH PEOPLE
3. Self-Appointed Coordinators: These are those respected elderly people who just have to wear a Dhoti and kurta for the wedding and who cannot understand why is the bride taking more that 10.3 minutes to get ready. They think it is their moral obligation to save this marital event from being a fiasco by self-embracing the difficult task of speeding up all the events. These are the Uncles walking besides the "Bandwallahs" trying to train them for Olympic race, the inspiration for 'Daya from CID" to break the door by banging it with bare hands and the primary reason for not letting the groom think the marriage through (which if he does, he might not go through the ceremonies at all)
4. Foodie for Life: As the name suggests, these are the category of people who are always found in and around the kitchen or caterers. They are the first ones to know what the wedding menu is; sometimes even before the food is on display. Mind it, don't think that these people are there for any ulterior selfish reason. They are there for greater good. Their task is to provide a detailed review on the menu for benefit of all. If you wish to know which veggie is extra spicy, which sweet is going to be over soon, what are the highlights of the food arrangements and what should you save some space in plate and tummy for, these are the people to contact. Understanding the basic arrangement of cost per plate that most Indian weddings have, they try to accommodate themselves either directly from counters or from others' plates.
5. "Is it our function" people: These are the near and dear relatives of the bride and the groom. Primarily comprising of parents and siblings of the marrying couple, these people are too busy attending to guests and most of the time miss out on attending to the wedding ceremonies. These are the tortured souls who are running around to arrange the towel for 'fufaji' or pick up facility for Jalandharwali Masiji or Mosquito repellent for foreign returned Chachiji. In the end, they just keep on running between the wickets while the trophy ceremony is already concluded.
6. Odd Man Out: These are the people who have been invited out of some distant relationship and have no business being in the wedding at all. This comprises of Sibling's boss, Durr ke Chacha's son, Dad's colleague's family and so on. These people try to fit into the entire arrangement, mostly in vain. They are unaware of what their role is in the entire wedding, are usually standing in a corner waiting for the newly wed to appear for gifting so that they can leave and heave a sigh of relief.
7. Pehchaan Kaun: These are those species of guests who have this strange habit of going to either of the wedding parties and asking them "Beta, Pehchana Mujhe?". A mere YES would not suffice. They are too smart for you and you cant play them. The next question would be "Batao mera naam kya hai?". The poor to-be wed would be frantically looking for a clue or hint from anyone around, helplessly praying that the torment would end.
8. Record-Marriage Attender: These are those rare ancient species of attendees who had attended the wedding of Adam and Eve too. They are aware of all the ceremonies, its by-processes and its various slang forms. They are the experts on this subjects are are available for free guidance (irrespective of whether it is needed or not) They can replace the Pandits in case the pandit cannot come due to loose motions from overeating at previous wedding. Not listening to them might enrage them and put the whole celebration in jeopardy. So, however silly the suggestion may seem, however redundant the ceremony may be, do it if they want you to, if you wish to see yourself married.
I am sure you can add a lot more of these typical people from your experiences. I have had my share of experiences in the last two weddings I attended. I not only observed most of these typical characters (no offence to any family members of my dearest friends) but had my share of interactions with them too. When you are in a friend's wedding and are actively involved in a few ceremonies, you suddenly become the most eligible bachelor around, or atleast you start feeling so. This eligibility has no language, caste or at times age barrier. Whether it is Neerajbabu (a friend of mine who is married and has the cutest baby girl) or it is Kaushalbhai (who attended the wedding with +1) or Akanksha (who would be a bit more 'matured' than most of the guys she was suggested to be perfect for) or me (THE MOST ELIGIBLE BACHELOR), we all felt special. Thank you Bubai Dada for making us feel special and thank you K JO for the same too.
Cheers to you and your married life!!!
I am sure every person goes through this phase and age in life when everyone around you seems to get married. Remember that geeky guy or smelly girl in your college who you thought cannot hook up even if Bill Gates adopted them? Even they will have their typical 'posed for album' pics uploaded on Facebook. I understand that even the generation prior to us would have gone through this phase, but they would not be looking at the pics of the class mate in pre-school getting married. That privilege is confined for our generation alone.
Recently, I attended two of my closest friend's wedding; Mr. K Jo and Mr. Bubai. Not that this was my first attended wedding, but the sheer fact that I was there present for all the ceremonies under the 'coming soon' window gives a different perspective to the entire experience. Wondering what coming soon window is?
During my cultural expeditions in these wonderful Indian traditional arrangement, I have observed the various clan of people attending these events. I have classified them for my reader's convenience under various categories as below:
1. Coming Soon Window: This window is the precise reason most of us attend these weddings. This clan comprises of all those younger cousin and close friends that the bride or the groom have. These species are usually found in herd in the wedding jungle and they hang around in gender specific troops. Each member of this herd tries to over power the other member by dressing up. The female herd has an advanced ability of tracking the male herd through corners of eyes and they make weird giggly sounds cracking naughty jokes. The male herd, being the bolder one, directly stares at the female herd and usually is found around the female herd. These people get the closest place to all the wedding action as they roam around the bride or the groom.
2. Cupid's Assistants: Also known as Panditjis or Match makers,these people are visionaries. They not only enjoy the current wedding but are also planning for future free lunches and dinners by match making. These are the uncles and aunties who don't even know you but who have already decided the best possible match for you. They will inquire about your parents and their parents and your ancestral heir-line and would have decided the names of your 2nd daughter and 3rd son too. Statutory Warning: BEWARE OF SUCH PEOPLE
3. Self-Appointed Coordinators: These are those respected elderly people who just have to wear a Dhoti and kurta for the wedding and who cannot understand why is the bride taking more that 10.3 minutes to get ready. They think it is their moral obligation to save this marital event from being a fiasco by self-embracing the difficult task of speeding up all the events. These are the Uncles walking besides the "Bandwallahs" trying to train them for Olympic race, the inspiration for 'Daya from CID" to break the door by banging it with bare hands and the primary reason for not letting the groom think the marriage through (which if he does, he might not go through the ceremonies at all)
4. Foodie for Life: As the name suggests, these are the category of people who are always found in and around the kitchen or caterers. They are the first ones to know what the wedding menu is; sometimes even before the food is on display. Mind it, don't think that these people are there for any ulterior selfish reason. They are there for greater good. Their task is to provide a detailed review on the menu for benefit of all. If you wish to know which veggie is extra spicy, which sweet is going to be over soon, what are the highlights of the food arrangements and what should you save some space in plate and tummy for, these are the people to contact. Understanding the basic arrangement of cost per plate that most Indian weddings have, they try to accommodate themselves either directly from counters or from others' plates.
5. "Is it our function" people: These are the near and dear relatives of the bride and the groom. Primarily comprising of parents and siblings of the marrying couple, these people are too busy attending to guests and most of the time miss out on attending to the wedding ceremonies. These are the tortured souls who are running around to arrange the towel for 'fufaji' or pick up facility for Jalandharwali Masiji or Mosquito repellent for foreign returned Chachiji. In the end, they just keep on running between the wickets while the trophy ceremony is already concluded.
6. Odd Man Out: These are the people who have been invited out of some distant relationship and have no business being in the wedding at all. This comprises of Sibling's boss, Durr ke Chacha's son, Dad's colleague's family and so on. These people try to fit into the entire arrangement, mostly in vain. They are unaware of what their role is in the entire wedding, are usually standing in a corner waiting for the newly wed to appear for gifting so that they can leave and heave a sigh of relief.
7. Pehchaan Kaun: These are those species of guests who have this strange habit of going to either of the wedding parties and asking them "Beta, Pehchana Mujhe?". A mere YES would not suffice. They are too smart for you and you cant play them. The next question would be "Batao mera naam kya hai?". The poor to-be wed would be frantically looking for a clue or hint from anyone around, helplessly praying that the torment would end.
8. Record-Marriage Attender: These are those rare ancient species of attendees who had attended the wedding of Adam and Eve too. They are aware of all the ceremonies, its by-processes and its various slang forms. They are the experts on this subjects are are available for free guidance (irrespective of whether it is needed or not) They can replace the Pandits in case the pandit cannot come due to loose motions from overeating at previous wedding. Not listening to them might enrage them and put the whole celebration in jeopardy. So, however silly the suggestion may seem, however redundant the ceremony may be, do it if they want you to, if you wish to see yourself married.
I am sure you can add a lot more of these typical people from your experiences. I have had my share of experiences in the last two weddings I attended. I not only observed most of these typical characters (no offence to any family members of my dearest friends) but had my share of interactions with them too. When you are in a friend's wedding and are actively involved in a few ceremonies, you suddenly become the most eligible bachelor around, or atleast you start feeling so. This eligibility has no language, caste or at times age barrier. Whether it is Neerajbabu (a friend of mine who is married and has the cutest baby girl) or it is Kaushalbhai (who attended the wedding with +1) or Akanksha (who would be a bit more 'matured' than most of the guys she was suggested to be perfect for) or me (THE MOST ELIGIBLE BACHELOR), we all felt special. Thank you Bubai Dada for making us feel special and thank you K JO for the same too.
Cheers to you and your married life!!!
