Nowadays, I don't have anything to do at work. However, if I am at office, I might as well look busy. So, I found out top 10 ways to look busy. You are welcome to add more. Here they are:
1. Never walk without a document in your hands
People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they're heading for the canteen. People with a newspaper in their hand look like they're heading for the toilet. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.
2. Use computers to look busy
Any time you use a computer, it looks like "work" to the casual observer. You can send and receive personal e-mail, chat and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren't exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about but they're not bad either. When you get caught by your boss - and you *will* get caught -- your best defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training expenses.
3. Messy desk
Top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks like we're not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around your workspace. To the observer, last year's work looks the same as today's work; it's volume that counts. Pile them high and wide. If you know somebody is coming to your desk, bury the document you'll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives.
4. Voice Mail
Never answer your phone if you have voice mail. People don't call you just because they want to give you something for nothing - they call because they want YOU to do work for THEM. That's no way to live. Screen all your calls through voice mail. If somebody leaves a voice mail message for you and it sounds like impending work, respond during lunch hour when you know they're not there - it looks like you're hardworking and conscientious even though you're being a devious weasel.
5. Looking Impatient and Annoyed
Always try to look impatient and annoyed to give your bosses the impression that you are always busy.
6. Leave the office late
Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around. You could read magazines and storybooks that you always wanted to read but have no time until late before leaving. Make sure you walk past the boss' room on your way out. Send important emails at unearthly hours (e.g. 9:35pm, 7:05am, etc.) and during public holidays.
7. Creative Sighing for Effect
Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that you are under extreme pressure.
8. Stacking Strategy
It is not enough to pile lots of documents on the table. Put lots of books on the floor etc. (thick investment manuals are the best).
9. Build Vocabulary
Read up on some investment magazines and pick out all the jargon and new products. Use the phrases freely when in conversation with bosses. Remember: They don't have to understand what you say, but you will sound impressive.
10. Have 2 Jackets
If you work in a big open plan office, always leave a spare jacket draped over the back of your seat. This gives the impression that you are still on the premises. The second jacket should be worn while swanning around elsewhere
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Friday, March 18, 2011
Harsha Bhogle: I would never want to be Sachin
Remember when you failed an examination. How many people recall that, your class, friends, relatives? You failed to make it to the IITs or IIMs. Who remembers. How many times have you had the feeling of being the best in your class, school , university, state….., you failed to get a visa stamped this quarter…, you missed a promotion this year…, how did it feel when you dad told you in your early twenties that you are good for nothing…..and now your boss tell you the same…
You keep introspecting and go into a shell when people most of whom don’t matter a dime in your life criticize you, back bite you, make fun of you. You are left sad and shattered and you cry when your own kin scoffs at you. You say I am feeling low today. It takes a lot from us to come out of these everyday situations and move on. A lot??? really?
Now here’s a man standing on the third man boundary in the last over of a world cup match. The bowler just has to bowl sensibly to win this game. What the man at the boundary sees is 4 rank bad bowls bowled without any sense of focus, planning or regret. India loses, yet again in those circumstances when he has done just about everything right.
He does not cry. Does not show any emotion. Just keeps his head down and leaves the field. He has seen these failures for 22 years now. And not just his class, relatives, friends but the whole world has seen these failures. We are too immature to even imagine what goes on in that mind and heart of his. That’s why I would never want to be Sachin.
True, he has single handedly lifted to moods of this entire nation umpteen number of times. He has been an inspiration to rise above our mediocrity. Nobody who has ever lifted the willow even comes close to this man’s genius. His dedication and metal strength is unparallel. This is specially for those people who would have made fun of him again last night when India lost. They are people who are mediocre in their own lives. Who just scoff at others to create cheap fun. Who have lived in a small hole throughout their lives and thought they have seen the oceans.
Think about the man himself. He is 37 years of age. He has been playing almost non stop for 22 years. The way he was running and diving around the field last night would have put 22 year olds to shame. The way he played the best opening quickies in the world was breathtaking. He just keeps getting better which is by the way humanly impossible. Its not for nothing that people call him GOD.
But still I don’t want to be in those shoes. We struggle in keeping our monotonous lives straight, lives which affect a limited number of people. Imagine what would be the magnitude of the inner struggle for him, pain both mental and physical, tears that have frozen with time, knees and ankles and every other joint in the body that is either bandaged or needs to be attended to every night, eyes that don’t sleep before a big game, bats that have scored 99 international tons and still see expectations from a billion people.
And he just converts those expectations into reality. We watch in awe, feel privileged.
Well I think its time that his team realizes that enough is enough. They have an obligation, not towards their country alone but towards sachin. They need to win this one for him. Stay assured that he himself will still deliver and leave no stone unturned to make sure India wins this cup.
This is not just a game, and he is not just a sportsman. Its much more than this. Words fail here…
- Harsha Bhogle
You keep introspecting and go into a shell when people most of whom don’t matter a dime in your life criticize you, back bite you, make fun of you. You are left sad and shattered and you cry when your own kin scoffs at you. You say I am feeling low today. It takes a lot from us to come out of these everyday situations and move on. A lot??? really?
Now here’s a man standing on the third man boundary in the last over of a world cup match. The bowler just has to bowl sensibly to win this game. What the man at the boundary sees is 4 rank bad bowls bowled without any sense of focus, planning or regret. India loses, yet again in those circumstances when he has done just about everything right.
He does not cry. Does not show any emotion. Just keeps his head down and leaves the field. He has seen these failures for 22 years now. And not just his class, relatives, friends but the whole world has seen these failures. We are too immature to even imagine what goes on in that mind and heart of his. That’s why I would never want to be Sachin.
True, he has single handedly lifted to moods of this entire nation umpteen number of times. He has been an inspiration to rise above our mediocrity. Nobody who has ever lifted the willow even comes close to this man’s genius. His dedication and metal strength is unparallel. This is specially for those people who would have made fun of him again last night when India lost. They are people who are mediocre in their own lives. Who just scoff at others to create cheap fun. Who have lived in a small hole throughout their lives and thought they have seen the oceans.
Think about the man himself. He is 37 years of age. He has been playing almost non stop for 22 years. The way he was running and diving around the field last night would have put 22 year olds to shame. The way he played the best opening quickies in the world was breathtaking. He just keeps getting better which is by the way humanly impossible. Its not for nothing that people call him GOD.
But still I don’t want to be in those shoes. We struggle in keeping our monotonous lives straight, lives which affect a limited number of people. Imagine what would be the magnitude of the inner struggle for him, pain both mental and physical, tears that have frozen with time, knees and ankles and every other joint in the body that is either bandaged or needs to be attended to every night, eyes that don’t sleep before a big game, bats that have scored 99 international tons and still see expectations from a billion people.
And he just converts those expectations into reality. We watch in awe, feel privileged.
Well I think its time that his team realizes that enough is enough. They have an obligation, not towards their country alone but towards sachin. They need to win this one for him. Stay assured that he himself will still deliver and leave no stone unturned to make sure India wins this cup.
This is not just a game, and he is not just a sportsman. Its much more than this. Words fail here…
- Harsha Bhogle
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
The 'F' people
My work place is a very wonderful place. I say so not out of sarcasm or out of awe, but out of sheer skill of observation which I have developed over a period of time. It is a place with great diversity in people’s lifestyle. If you ask me what the essence of one’s Lifestyle is, I would say that it is Fashion but I am sure of course that you won't ask me and I won't tell you, so you can keep guessing what my answer would be.
Frankly, just like my answer, the origins of fashion too are clad in mystery. However, rumour has it someone with an extremely well developed sense of finesse and polish developed the concept of fashion. By this definition, we can safely rule out the fact that any man could have started fashion. I can safely conclude this because Fashion, as man knows, is basically confined to 3 pairs of shoes, 5 shirts, 3 trousers and 5 underwear (10 if you count them inside out and 20 if you count them upside down). Fashion, as women know it is also 3 pairs of shoes, 5 shirts, 3 trousers and 5 underwear but that is only on Mondays. Hence it is safe to conclude that women have had a big hand in advancing the cause of fashion.
Historians say it is difficult to say with any certainty what event exactly started off fashion. Fortunately, since I am making up facts, I can state with certainty that Fashion started when a group of enormously snobby Indian women gathered around and fought over a random shade of red unable to decide whether it is rouge or vermillion. Historians too accept this theory of course provided to threaten them to death if they don’t accept it.
However, getting back to why my office space is unique, I find it fascinating to see how every person has an unique fashion acumen and even more flabbergasted to realize that each one of them thinks they are the Einstein of Fashion World. Not only because of their knowledge of fashion, but their experimentation too, they truly need to be humoured, err, applauded.
People challenge me to count the number of misfields that Ashish Nehra does during play. I understand the difficulty of that task, however, something which I have found more challenging than that is to count the colours on some of the dresses which the fashion icons of my work place flaunt. My school teachers would have never known that so many colours do exist in the world, or they forgot to teach me the same. There are times when I keep my Ray Bans on in the office just to avoid the brightness that I am exposed to in presence of certain tops in the office. Normally in every species, with the exception of Tamil film heros, the specie has to look attractive to attract the opposite half of the specie for mating purposes. If this holds true, I have serious doubts about these fashion stars having any future in reproduction. Frankly, I see very few uses for most of their wardrobes than as virginity charms or chastity belt.
One liberty which females in the corporate world have is they can define anything as formals. Whether it is a frill laced frock or yellow coloured bell bottom, it’s all office wear. Due to this unclear definition of female formals, we have been victims of viewing polka dots, denim patches, hanging ribbons, velvet shoes, shocking striking shining and all other varieties of pinks, greens, yellows, reds, fluorescents and a lot more. The plight of a viewer is only understood by another viewer.
From the very few people who are free enough to read my blog, if any of you have any experience in disaster management, please send in your resume to me immediately. Most of the guys in my branch face disaster day in and day out. They are all ‘Khatron ke Khiladi’. These Fashion disasters, sorry, divas can use some help from your advice, and all of their colleagues can definitely use the help too. Please contribute for this noble cause.
Frankly, just like my answer, the origins of fashion too are clad in mystery. However, rumour has it someone with an extremely well developed sense of finesse and polish developed the concept of fashion. By this definition, we can safely rule out the fact that any man could have started fashion. I can safely conclude this because Fashion, as man knows, is basically confined to 3 pairs of shoes, 5 shirts, 3 trousers and 5 underwear (10 if you count them inside out and 20 if you count them upside down). Fashion, as women know it is also 3 pairs of shoes, 5 shirts, 3 trousers and 5 underwear but that is only on Mondays. Hence it is safe to conclude that women have had a big hand in advancing the cause of fashion.
Historians say it is difficult to say with any certainty what event exactly started off fashion. Fortunately, since I am making up facts, I can state with certainty that Fashion started when a group of enormously snobby Indian women gathered around and fought over a random shade of red unable to decide whether it is rouge or vermillion. Historians too accept this theory of course provided to threaten them to death if they don’t accept it.
However, getting back to why my office space is unique, I find it fascinating to see how every person has an unique fashion acumen and even more flabbergasted to realize that each one of them thinks they are the Einstein of Fashion World. Not only because of their knowledge of fashion, but their experimentation too, they truly need to be humoured, err, applauded.
People challenge me to count the number of misfields that Ashish Nehra does during play. I understand the difficulty of that task, however, something which I have found more challenging than that is to count the colours on some of the dresses which the fashion icons of my work place flaunt. My school teachers would have never known that so many colours do exist in the world, or they forgot to teach me the same. There are times when I keep my Ray Bans on in the office just to avoid the brightness that I am exposed to in presence of certain tops in the office. Normally in every species, with the exception of Tamil film heros, the specie has to look attractive to attract the opposite half of the specie for mating purposes. If this holds true, I have serious doubts about these fashion stars having any future in reproduction. Frankly, I see very few uses for most of their wardrobes than as virginity charms or chastity belt.
One liberty which females in the corporate world have is they can define anything as formals. Whether it is a frill laced frock or yellow coloured bell bottom, it’s all office wear. Due to this unclear definition of female formals, we have been victims of viewing polka dots, denim patches, hanging ribbons, velvet shoes, shocking striking shining and all other varieties of pinks, greens, yellows, reds, fluorescents and a lot more. The plight of a viewer is only understood by another viewer.
From the very few people who are free enough to read my blog, if any of you have any experience in disaster management, please send in your resume to me immediately. Most of the guys in my branch face disaster day in and day out. They are all ‘Khatron ke Khiladi’. These Fashion disasters, sorry, divas can use some help from your advice, and all of their colleagues can definitely use the help too. Please contribute for this noble cause.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Tips this Valentine!!!
I am no connoisseur of this field, but from what I know, I thought it to be my moral obligation to disseminate this information to all my fellow male specie of human kind. I hope this helps you get over the over hyped day of expression of love which is about to come.That dreaded day all men fear to forget–Valentines Day–is just around the corner. It’s a day that can make you or break you, fellas, so now’s the time to give it some thought. Here are some rules to remember:
-> The most basic rule, if for no one’s sake but you own: Remember your sweetheart on Valentines Day. February 14. It doesn’t matter how old she is, or how long you’ve been married, or dating, or whatever. If you forget her on this high holy day of love, you’ll spend the next 364 days regretting it. In either subtle or unsubtle ways, she ain’t gonna forget you forgot. So next time your tea has salt instead of sugar, your clothes burn while being ironed or you get stood up on a date, you are to blame if you forget this day.
-> 00:05 is not same as 00:00. Trust me on this one, these 5 minutes will cost you more than any other 5 minutes in your life. It doesn't matter if your network's jammed, if you are being chased by a man-eating tiger or you are saving the world from intergalactic attack. If your call or you dont reach at midnight, you have dug your own grave.
-> If she tells you she doesn’t want flowers, or candy, or a greeting card to mark the day, I can guarantee you she’s lying through her teeth. Don’t be fooled for a second. She’s just testing you to see what you’ll do. You have two choices–do you want to be happy, or do you want to be miserable? It’s up to you.
-> This is the trickiest rule, because the slightest error can cause undue suffering (yours). What does she really want for Valentine’s Day? You can’t just ask her–this is strictly against the rules. This is where your mind-reading skills come in handy. If you’ve not already developed at least some rudimentary extrasensory powers (ESP) in your relationship, you’re probably already screwed anyway–and I don’t mean in a good way. P.S: Playstation is not a good valentines gift for her
-> It is a cardinal sin to mention what you did with your ex-girlfriend last Valentine's day, no matter how boring it was last year. This is the only Valentines you remember unless the last one was with her only.
I guess these should help you for good. If you have some more to share, your comments are always welcome. Girls are welcome to testify on these observations/learning...
Wish you all a Happy Valentines Day!!!
-> The most basic rule, if for no one’s sake but you own: Remember your sweetheart on Valentines Day. February 14. It doesn’t matter how old she is, or how long you’ve been married, or dating, or whatever. If you forget her on this high holy day of love, you’ll spend the next 364 days regretting it. In either subtle or unsubtle ways, she ain’t gonna forget you forgot. So next time your tea has salt instead of sugar, your clothes burn while being ironed or you get stood up on a date, you are to blame if you forget this day.
-> 00:05 is not same as 00:00. Trust me on this one, these 5 minutes will cost you more than any other 5 minutes in your life. It doesn't matter if your network's jammed, if you are being chased by a man-eating tiger or you are saving the world from intergalactic attack. If your call or you dont reach at midnight, you have dug your own grave.
-> If she tells you she doesn’t want flowers, or candy, or a greeting card to mark the day, I can guarantee you she’s lying through her teeth. Don’t be fooled for a second. She’s just testing you to see what you’ll do. You have two choices–do you want to be happy, or do you want to be miserable? It’s up to you.
-> This is the trickiest rule, because the slightest error can cause undue suffering (yours). What does she really want for Valentine’s Day? You can’t just ask her–this is strictly against the rules. This is where your mind-reading skills come in handy. If you’ve not already developed at least some rudimentary extrasensory powers (ESP) in your relationship, you’re probably already screwed anyway–and I don’t mean in a good way. P.S: Playstation is not a good valentines gift for her
-> It is a cardinal sin to mention what you did with your ex-girlfriend last Valentine's day, no matter how boring it was last year. This is the only Valentines you remember unless the last one was with her only.
I guess these should help you for good. If you have some more to share, your comments are always welcome. Girls are welcome to testify on these observations/learning...
Wish you all a Happy Valentines Day!!!
Monday, February 7, 2011
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Ode to the Nice Guys
[This rant was written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal]
This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.
This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.
This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever
orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for
that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went
anyways. Because you’re nice like that.
The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical,
manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most
frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going
to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.
So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.
This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.
This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.
This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever
orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for
that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went
anyways. Because you’re nice like that.
The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical,
manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most
frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going
to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.
So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.
Monday, December 6, 2010
A day in hostel: Chapter 1 - The Steps for completing assignment
1. Sit in your straight, comfortable chair and study table in a well-lighted place with plenty of sharpened pencils and pen.
2. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it.
3. Walk down to the pantry and buy some coffee to help you concentrate.
4. Stop off at another floor, on the way back and visit with your friend from class. If your friend hasn't started the paper yet either, you can both walk to the pantry and buy a packet of Chips to help you concentrate. If your friend shows you his paper, typed, double-spaced, and bound in one of those irritating see-through plastic folders, borrow his assignment. If he does not lend, drop him.
5. When you get back to your room, Sit in your straight, comfortable chair and study table in a well-lighted place with plenty of sharpened pencils and pen.
6. Read over the assignment again to make absolutely certain you understand it.
7. You know, you haven't called your school friend since past 3 years. You'd better call him now and get it out of the way so you can concentrate.
8. Go look at your teeth in the bathroom mirror.
9. Listen to your favorite song on your laptop and that's it-- I mean it! As soon as it's over you are going to start that paper.
10. Listen to the your other favorite song.
11. Phone your friend on the other floor and ask if he's started writing yet. Exchange derogatory remarks about your teacher, the course, the university, and the world at large.
12. Sit in your straight, comfortable chair and study table in a well-lighted place with plenty of sharpened pencils and pen
13. Read over the assignment again; roll the words across your tongue; savour its special flavour.
14. Check the newspaper listings to make sure you aren't missing something truly worthwhile on TV. NOTE: When you have a paper due in less than 12 hours, anything on TV from soccer match to golf season to every Zee or Sony soap is truly worthwhile.
15. Phone your friend in the girl's hostel to see if she was watching. Discuss the finer points of the sport/plot.
16. Go look at your tongue in the bathroom mirror.
17. Go to the Counter-strike server just to check how many players are in- YOU WILL JUST CHECK AND EXIT.
18. Enter the counter strike game for just 1 game.
19. You will shut the game when your killings reach 50.
20. As soon as the 50th game is over, that's it. Next on agenda is the assignment.
21. Sit in your straight, comfortable chair and study table in a well-lighted place with plenty of sharpened pencils and pen.
22. Read over the assignment again to revise what you need to do.
23. Walk to the balcony just to get some fresh air and thought process.
24. Sit down and do some serious thinking about your plans for the future.
25. Open your door and check to see if there are any mysterious, trench-coated strangers lurking in the hall.
26. Sit in your straight, comfortable chair and study table in a well-lighted place with plenty of sharpened pencils and pen.
27. Read over the assignment one more time, just for the heck of it.
28. Scoot your chair across the room to the window and watch the sunrise.
29. Lie face down on the bed and scream at the top of your lungs.
30. Google up the details of your assignment.
31. Copy the 1st three pages of Wikipedia and 1st page of top 10 searches.
32. Complain to everyone that you didn't get any sleep because you had to complete the assignment
P.S.: Inspired by true events :)
2. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it.
3. Walk down to the pantry and buy some coffee to help you concentrate.
4. Stop off at another floor, on the way back and visit with your friend from class. If your friend hasn't started the paper yet either, you can both walk to the pantry and buy a packet of Chips to help you concentrate. If your friend shows you his paper, typed, double-spaced, and bound in one of those irritating see-through plastic folders, borrow his assignment. If he does not lend, drop him.
5. When you get back to your room, Sit in your straight, comfortable chair and study table in a well-lighted place with plenty of sharpened pencils and pen.
6. Read over the assignment again to make absolutely certain you understand it.
7. You know, you haven't called your school friend since past 3 years. You'd better call him now and get it out of the way so you can concentrate.
8. Go look at your teeth in the bathroom mirror.
9. Listen to your favorite song on your laptop and that's it-- I mean it! As soon as it's over you are going to start that paper.
10. Listen to the your other favorite song.
11. Phone your friend on the other floor and ask if he's started writing yet. Exchange derogatory remarks about your teacher, the course, the university, and the world at large.
12. Sit in your straight, comfortable chair and study table in a well-lighted place with plenty of sharpened pencils and pen
13. Read over the assignment again; roll the words across your tongue; savour its special flavour.
14. Check the newspaper listings to make sure you aren't missing something truly worthwhile on TV. NOTE: When you have a paper due in less than 12 hours, anything on TV from soccer match to golf season to every Zee or Sony soap is truly worthwhile.
15. Phone your friend in the girl's hostel to see if she was watching. Discuss the finer points of the sport/plot.
16. Go look at your tongue in the bathroom mirror.
17. Go to the Counter-strike server just to check how many players are in- YOU WILL JUST CHECK AND EXIT.
18. Enter the counter strike game for just 1 game.
19. You will shut the game when your killings reach 50.
20. As soon as the 50th game is over, that's it. Next on agenda is the assignment.
21. Sit in your straight, comfortable chair and study table in a well-lighted place with plenty of sharpened pencils and pen.
22. Read over the assignment again to revise what you need to do.
23. Walk to the balcony just to get some fresh air and thought process.
24. Sit down and do some serious thinking about your plans for the future.
25. Open your door and check to see if there are any mysterious, trench-coated strangers lurking in the hall.
26. Sit in your straight, comfortable chair and study table in a well-lighted place with plenty of sharpened pencils and pen.
27. Read over the assignment one more time, just for the heck of it.
28. Scoot your chair across the room to the window and watch the sunrise.
29. Lie face down on the bed and scream at the top of your lungs.
30. Google up the details of your assignment.
31. Copy the 1st three pages of Wikipedia and 1st page of top 10 searches.
32. Complain to everyone that you didn't get any sleep because you had to complete the assignment
P.S.: Inspired by true events :)
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