Monday, December 6, 2010

A day in hostel: Chapter 1 - The Steps for completing assignment

1. Sit in your straight, comfortable chair and study table in a well-lighted place with plenty of sharpened pencils and pen.

2. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it.

3. Walk down to the pantry and buy some coffee to help you concentrate.

4. Stop off at another floor, on the way back and visit with your friend from class. If your friend hasn't started the paper yet either, you can both walk to the pantry and buy a packet of Chips to help you concentrate. If your friend shows you his paper, typed, double-spaced, and bound in one of those irritating see-through plastic folders, borrow his assignment. If he does not lend, drop him.

5. When you get back to your room, Sit in your straight, comfortable chair and study table in a well-lighted place with plenty of sharpened pencils and pen.

6. Read over the assignment again to make absolutely certain you understand it.

7. You know, you haven't called your school friend since past 3 years. You'd better call him now and get it out of the way so you can concentrate.

8. Go look at your teeth in the bathroom mirror.

9. Listen to your favorite song on your laptop and that's it-- I mean it! As soon as it's over you are going to start that paper.

10. Listen to the your other favorite song.

11. Phone your friend on the other floor and ask if he's started writing yet. Exchange derogatory remarks about your teacher, the course, the university, and the world at large.

12. Sit in your straight, comfortable chair and study table in a well-lighted place with plenty of sharpened pencils and pen

13. Read over the assignment again; roll the words across your tongue; savour its special flavour.

14. Check the newspaper listings to make sure you aren't missing something truly worthwhile on TV. NOTE: When you have a paper due in less than 12 hours, anything on TV from soccer match to golf season to every Zee or Sony soap is truly worthwhile.

15. Phone your friend in the girl's hostel to see if she was watching. Discuss the finer points of the sport/plot.

16. Go look at your tongue in the bathroom mirror.

17. Go to the Counter-strike server just to check how many players are in- YOU WILL JUST CHECK AND EXIT.

18. Enter the counter strike game for just 1 game.

19. You will shut the game when your killings reach 50.

20. As soon as the 50th game is over, that's it. Next on agenda is the assignment.

21. Sit in your straight, comfortable chair and study table in a well-lighted place with plenty of sharpened pencils and pen.

22. Read over the assignment again to revise what you need to do.

23. Walk to the balcony just to get some fresh air and thought process.

24. Sit down and do some serious thinking about your plans for the future.

25. Open your door and check to see if there are any mysterious, trench-coated strangers lurking in the hall.

26. Sit in your straight, comfortable chair and study table in a well-lighted place with plenty of sharpened pencils and pen.

27. Read over the assignment one more time, just for the heck of it.

28. Scoot your chair across the room to the window and watch the sunrise.

29. Lie face down on the bed and scream at the top of your lungs.

30. Google up the details of your assignment.

31. Copy the 1st three pages of Wikipedia and 1st page of top 10 searches.

32. Complain to everyone that you didn't get any sleep because you had to complete the assignment


P.S.: Inspired by true events :)